What Is A Genuine Friend?

Nurturing Real Friendships:

Avoiding Being Used

and

Meaningful Connections

Having genuine friends is a treasure that fills our lives with joy, support, and understanding. But in the sea of acquaintances, how do we find real friends? Moreover, how can we avoid the painful experience of being used or feeling used by others we might mistakenly call friends? In this article, we'll explore some simple strategies to identify authentic friendships and protect ourselves from being taken advantage of.

Look for Genuine Interest and Reciprocity

Real friends show genuine interest in our lives, emotions, and well-being. They listen actively and offer support without expecting something in return. These friendships are built on mutual care and respect.

Identify

Imagine you have a friend named Arron who consistently checks up on you when you're feeling down. They offer a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on without judgment or trying to fix your problems immediately. Arron's actions demonstrate genuine interest in your happiness and well-being.

Reciprocate

Foster genuine friendships by reciprocating their interest and care. Engage in meaningful conversations, ask about their lives, and be there for them as they are for you. This two-way connection strengthens the bond and creates a supportive environment.

Recognize Red Flags and Boundaries

To avoid being used or feeling used, it's essential to recognize red flags in our friendships and establish clear boundaries.

Observe

Suppose you have a friend named Ashley who constantly asks for favors but is rarely available when you need help. Ashley might be using you as a convenient resource without considering your needs.

Boundaries

Setting boundaries is crucial in maintaining healthy friendships. Be assertive and communicate your limits respectfully. A genuine friend will understand and respect your boundaries, while someone who was using you might drift away when they realize they can't exploit your kindness.

Embrace Self-Worth and Authenticity

Confidence in ourselves and embracing our authenticity can lead us to find friends who appreciate us for who we truly are. It is important to surround ourselves with people who accept and celebrate our uniqueness.

Appreciate

Let's say you have a friend named Karissa who encourages you to be yourself, appreciates your quirks, and doesn't expect you to change to fit their idea of a perfect friend. Karissa values your authentic self.

Acceptance

Cultivate self-awareness and self-acceptance. When we are authentic and unapologetically ourselves, we attract friends who genuinely connect with us. Embrace your interests, hobbies, and personality traits, and you'll naturally gravitate towards like-minded friends.

The Window

The Johari Window is a technique developed by psychologists Joseph Luft and Harry Ingham in 1955, as a powerful tool to understand and improve interpersonal relationships. It consists of four quadrants, representing different aspects of self-awareness:

1. Open Area (Known to Self and Others)

This quadrant includes information about ourselves that we are aware of, and others are also aware of it. Genuine friendships thrive in this area as there is open communication and mutual understanding.

2. Blind Spot (Known to Others, Unknown to Self)

This area contains information about us that others know but we are unaware of. By seeking feedback from friends, we can reduce this blind spot and improve self-awareness.

3. Hidden Area (Known to Self, Unknown to Others)

Here lies information about ourselves that we know but keep hidden from others. Sharing this information with trusted friends can deepen our relationships.

4. Unknown Area (Unknown to Self and Others)

This quadrant represents aspects of ourselves that neither we nor others are aware of. Through self-reflection and feedback from friends, we can expand our self-awareness.

By using the Johari Window unconsciously, we might share aspects of our lives with friends without realizing how it enhances our friendships. Becoming aware of this technique can encourage us to be more intentional in building meaningful connections.

You

To find real friends and avoid feeling used, it requires a combination of self-awareness, reciprocity, boundary setting, and the ability to embrace your authenticity. By being genuine and attentive in our friendships, we can create a supportive network that enriches our lives and brings us happiness. Additionally, being aware of the Johari Window can further aid in improving our understanding of ourselves and our relationships with others.